This month! I tell ya I have been fighting to keep my eyes forward (Proverbs 4:27)
The enemy has been sneaking in when I am tired, stressed, or just about anytime I let my guard down. Lately the Devil has been hitting me with past mistakes or past hurts. Hurts I have caused my children. Hurts that I have caused my husband. But his ALL time favorite thing to do to me is run me through a winding twisting maze of all the past hurts my husband has done to ME.
I don’t know what the inside of your anxiety looks like but mine looks a little something like this. It starts with a feeling of distrust and a pit in the bottom of my stomach, a feeling like I am being lied to and something is up. It gradually grows into thoughts and wild imaginations going off of distrust and logic no longer works. Until finally I am a blubbering mess, unable to go an hour without crying. Running the maze the enemy puts me in is exhausting and I get tired of fighting it but it is a game we play once a month.
So here I am an unwilling participant making my way through the maze he has laid out. Wanna take a walk with me?
I've done all the things I know to fight through anxiety: Logic, meditation, piercings, etc. Anyone who has been hit hard with anxiety knows that the only way out is through. I know it isn’t something any of us like to do, but we know the route better than anyone.
My not so favorite part about anxiety is the through part. It is messy, a blur, and full of unnecessary fear. James 1:2-4 taught me it’s all about HOW one handles the through part that makes all the difference.
Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
As much as I hate anxiety I try to view it as such. As much as it sucks and I know I can't fight my way through it I use it to walk in faith and I know this testing will mature me. Yes it is difficult to always focus on the above scripture, but when I have I notice that I have been having less and less attacks. My heart is free of a majority of them and I know in time this one vice will also disappear. Will the Devil every go away? No. He prince of lies and the destroyer of peace. He will try to find another weakness, which I know I have since I am but merely human. The testing of my faith is an opportunity to get in the Word and what better place to find peace then the Bible? My all time favorite Bible verse while zig zagging through this maze
[I will not] be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, [I] present [my] requests to you God. And [Your peace], which transcends all understanding, will guard [my] heart and [my] mind in Christ Jesus.
[I] present [my] requests to you God!
I get the kids situated in the other room with a snack and a show (this gets me a good 30 minutes to speak to God.) Then I start walking in my prayer closet and I present EVERY request I have to the Lord. I tell him everything and why not? He already knows what lies on my heart. Why try to beat around the Bush when he is all knowing? The stupid, silly, or mundane I say it. Out loud. No matter what it is that is bothering me I say it.
I walk and I talk.
Once I am done talking I don’t stop there. I dwell on verse 7 [Your peace], which transcends all understanding, will guard [my] heart and [my] mind. I stop, close my eyes, pull my shoulders down from my ears, and breath. I relax. Shut my thoughts down and just breath. I relax as much as I possible can and I repeat, “[Your peace], which transcends all understanding, will guard [my] heart and [my] mind.”
HIS peace. Did you catch it? HIS peace is far greater than ANY peace we can fathom! So no matter how relaxed I can get his peace is MORE than I can understand. MORE than any of us can IMAGINE! This always brings a smile to my face and a little peace to my heart. So just take a moment and breath, close your eyes, pull your shoulders down from your ears, breath, and let everything go. Tell yourself, “I am relaxed but HIS is more than this!”
Does this get me out of the maze? Honestly 9 out of 10 times yes it does. As for that 1? I have found that if I go to my husband and asking him for support gets me out and why not it is written
For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them. (Matthew 18:20)
I hope this sheds some light on what anxiety looks like if you aren’t sure and I hope this helps you get some peace from any anxiety you might find yourself in. Am I perfect? No. Did I find the cure? No. I found what works for me and I can only share it in hopes you may find a piece of peace.
What about you? How do you make it through? Any tips, tricks, ideas?
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