Growing up hurts.
Growing up sucks, but we all have to do it eventually. Some of us welcome growth where some of us fight it at every turn. Me? I do both, I welcome some growth where I fight others.
There are things we must overcome when we as Christians grow and most, if not all of us, have had trials in which we go through something that cause us to grow. Boxes, yay! (Insert sarcasm here.) These trials can last for a short of period of time or last a long period of time, but what matters is how we handle these trials. We can fight it or accept it and try to find the peace and strength while we hold on for the ride.
Oh growth, how I hate yet love you. I don't know about you but for me growth always hurts. It is never sunshine and puppies for me. It's deep pain. Pain where my soul aches and cries out for relief. It’s where I feel myself die. I've been broken down to the point where I have wailed and beat my chest in pain, crying out for the hurt to stop, “No more! I don't want to keep going!” Begging for the growth to stop. Wailing in such sorrow I didn't think it was possible to hurt this much. Yet, in that moment I heard myself die. I felt me lay my life down. I accepted the growth and heard the father speak to me, “you NEED to do this. THIS. THIS is how you grow to be more like me. You have faith, Ashley but you also have doubt and if you want to make it through the rest of this trial you need to grow a little more. You won't make it through if you don't grow more. To be like me you need to this trial.”
“To be more like me.” To be more like Christ. That's what the goal of growth really is. We are all on a journey to be more like Christ and the only way we can do that is to let go, lay our lives down, to die to ourselves. Growth is never easy and if you really truly want it you will buck up kiddo and take the pain.
Psalm 30:5 weeping may stay for the night, but rejoicing comes in the morning.
You will be shown things you don't want to face. You will have to let go of things and people you don't want to. But, as I lay there, I felt at peace. Strange. I was broken, in such deep sorrow and pain, crying out no more PLEASE! And I felt peace. I was okay. Knowing the trials I face are making me more like Christ gives me peace. Gives me some I understanding and relieves a little bit of my anxiety.
Do I know what God has planned for me? No, no one's does but I do know one thing.
Titus 2:11-12 For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people, training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age
Even though this sucks and it hurts I am being trained to live an upright godly life and who doesn’t want that?
