I am tired. So tired. Tired of fighting and tired of trying. Tired of standing strong. I am tired.
Ever been there? Are you here now? We all come here, right? I can’t be the only one. That moment where we tire. Where we just want to lay down and sleep. When the hurt is too much. Where the battle has raged on for too long. We just… tire.
Once I've been hurt some many times I find myself at the edge of giving up. That moment where I don’t want to continue any longer. I would run through a list of all the ways I have been hurt to justify my whys. Why I can't continue. Why I should let go. Why it's not longer my problem and last why I am going to stop caring. I tell myself, If they could just see my list. Then they would understand why I’m done and why it is okay, Right?
Right?
Wrong.
Despite the fact that I AM tired or how I long for these pains to end I know I can't just shut down. I know I must continue, to push through and to love the way God loves. Dispute whatever the situation; my kids hurt me, my friends, or even my husband, I HAVE to choose love.
We love because he loves us and in order for us to love the way he loves us we need his word to get through. From it we can pull strength even when we are the precipice of giving up.
He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength (Isaiah 40:29)
But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint. (Isaiah 40:31)
Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand (Isaiah 41:10)
In the moments I want to stop and wash my hands of whatever IT is I try to remember not to sin in my anger. By giving up and washing my hands of the person who hurt me I am doing just that. We are called as Christians to love one another the way God loves and to do that it means we don’t get to just walk away. So take a deep breath with me, let's straighten our armor and remember what it means to love.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.(1 Corinthians 13:4-7)
Ready?
You aren’t alone.
Let’s go fight.
Prayer For Strength
