Brace yourself I'm gonna swear!
Have you ever been put in a position that makes you question whether someone deserves your respect?
WHAT about those family members who call you two faced, liar, hypocritical, or bitch? Do we respect them?
The first time I heard these phrases was from a family member who misunderstood me. the second time was from her daughter who also misunderstood me. The next two times was from family members who thought I was being insubordinate or argumentative. I'm so loved, right? Hahaha I was angry and a little hurt. I even at one point questioned if this was in fact true? AM I two faced, liar, hypocritical, or a bitch? NO!
Let me tell you something, respect is a two way street. Just because someone can't bend you to their will and force you to break to their opinion does not make you a bitch.
Standing up for what you believe in does not make you a bitch, insubordinate, or argumentative.
Having a difference of opinion regarding the definition of things does not make you hypocritical or two faced or a liar.
Questioning something does not make you any of these things.
I said respect is a two way street and it is but I think so many people forget that and bark for everyone to respect them but not ever wanting to give it in return. When strangers disrespect me I have noticed it doesn’t affect me like it does when family does it. With family they hold a certain power over my emotions so it is strange and sometimes difficult when you are put in a position to cut them out.
Cut them out?! But they are family! WHY would I advocate that? Let me tell you it really is okay to let them go. If you have had family cause you pain it is possible to forgive them, love them, and let them go. I find peace in this because I know I have done my part in letting them know they have crossed a line.
As for a person who stirs up division, after warning him once and then twice, have nothing more to do with him, knowing that such a person is warped and sinful; he is self-condemned.
But if you bite and devour one another, watch out that you are not consumed by one another.
1) I will treat people how I want to be treated.
This does not mean I can turn around and start calling those family members names, because obviously they want to be called those things. No! I will do my best to speak to them in love.
Show yourself in all respects to be a model of good works, and in your teaching show integrity, dignity,
2.) I will respect differences
We have or had a difference of opinion and I respect their beliefs and can only pray that one day they will respect mine.
We are all important and have an important role in this roller coaster of life.
For as in one body we have many members, and the members do not all have the same function, so we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another. Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them: if prophecy, in proportion to our faith; if service, in our serving; the one who teaches, in his teaching; the one who exhorts, in his exhortation; the one who contributes, in generosity; the one who leads, with zeal; the one who does acts of mercy, with cheerfulness.
Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.
3.) Everyone has value.
Even though they hurt my feelings and kind of ticked me off they are still valuable to the Father and I need to remember that.
Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience,
4.) I will not bully or harass.
Now, on two separate occasions I have had family harass me on Facebook. Whether it be on my personal page or via messenger. I tried several times to get away from it and eventually had to block these individuals. THAT did not go over well with other members of my clan, which in turn caused more name calling. (awesome right?)
It isn’t any fun being harassed but when it happens the best thing we can do is just let it roll off our backs.
Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.”
5.) I will use good manners.
I know it can be difficult to even remember to use manners when someone is jumping down your throat or calling your character into question. My advice is kill them with kindness. Good manners aren’t just please and thank yous. It just be sitting silently and not saying a word. Remember If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.
Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.
Always remember
Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing.
Oooooh, this is good! I really appreciate your biblical backing, here, with your boundaries. Dysfunctional families are a breeding ground for codependency and it really does require intentionality and strong boundaries to keep your sanity and your peace.
After many years of trying to keep the peace, I definitely had to move away from several family members. I have since moved forward with God in leaps and bounds. Until they receive Him into their hearts, there is no reconciliation. Forgiveness does not mean reconciliation in all circumstances. God has given me peace about this. I do pray for them and love and respect them from a distance with healthy boundaries. ❤