This side of the pain isn’t a cake walk. It’s full of fear, anxiety, and well mostly fear. Certain things set me off; the time of day, specific season, and occasionally a specific date. I know these pains are here to remind me of the pain I went through and the growth that came from it. I know once these days, seasons, times pass I will be stronger and more faithful. We must go through the fire to be purified right?
In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy. (1 Peter 1:6-8)
keen mental suffering or distress over affliction or loss; sharp sorrow. A cause or occasion of keen distress or sorrow.
And this is what I am doing with each passing of these painful moments. I am in grief but I know that what was is not now and what is is better. I’m not ready to talk about the days or moments that hurt when they are upon me, but I know it is something that will pass and the pain will not last forever. So for now I will hold onto my prayers and I will bare down and make it through.
The pain will go away and the fear will dissipate. It just takes time. I know some who get hurt they can wall themselves up away and in that place they find solace and peace. Dealing with it on their own with God. Quietly. Then there are some who get hurt they need to talk about it and let either the world know or only a select few. I am in the first group. When the date, or season of a painful incident nears I feel it creep in. I lock myself in my closet and hunker down and wait for it to pass. I hold tight to the Word and the promises God gave me.
During these moments I am bombarded with lies the enemy has for me but I am reminded of the Bible verses:
We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. (2 Corinthians 10:5)
Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. (Romans 12:2)
So how do we take captive our thoughts? It is a conscience effort on your part. You have to have your weapons at the ready. For instance mine are the two above verses tagged along with
Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. (Philippians 4:8)
The battle we fight to take captive our thoughts is an all so simple one. If we arm ourselves with the Word of God we can fight off anything the enemy throws at us. We just have to remember to not dwell on the pain. It takes practice to say, “Nope, I will not think about ____. Instead I will trust in the Lord. He is my refuge and my strength, my never ending help in times of trouble.” Eventually the Devil will concede on that issue, but do not be mistaken he will search for another way in so always keep the Word with you.
I will not conform to the patterns of this world…. What does that mean? The patterns of this world? Thought patterns are patterns of this world, right? We as wives and girlfriends are told over, and over, OVER what it looks like if your man is cheating so we scrutinize every little detail of our world's. Constantly on guard looking, waiting, watching for them to break our hearts. When or if they do hurt us we are even more on guard! It is a vicious cycle we never escape from. From a young age we are taught what love looks like and even that is incorrect. We have expectations of what relationships are supposed to look like and they are just as wrong. We need to have a renewing of the mind, but how does one do that? How do you renew your mind? Through faith in his word! We must get in the truth in order to change how we think and how we approach these hurtful thoughts. Changing our thoughts to be like God’s thoughts can only happen by reading the Bible. When it’s done we gain clarity and understanding. We learn to go to the Father for guidance instead of stewing on what is, was, or might be. When we see these lies we no longer let them affect our relationships. With the changing of my mind I find that I no longer dwell on a certain issue but I take it to the Lord. I will ask him what I should do or how I should approach XYZ.
As soon as these painful moments come up I do my best to recite the above verses and then I will go and list all the truth I can. I will get my notebook and I will list all the verses I have written in my heart and I soon find peace. I will list all the things I am doing better now and all the things he is doing better now. I focus on what is right, pure and lovely. I will turn my mind on memories of our laughter and fun. I will seek out my children and listen to their laughter. You can’t get more pure than that. I had a good friend tell me to recite, “It happened, it’s over, it isn’t happening now.” then to do the above helps me overcome these painful moments. I know that as time passes they will not affect me as much as they do now I will have grown.
How do you overcome your painful moments? Do you have a favorite verse?
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