Do I Have To?

When we hear the term disobedience we may think of small children or teens. They are the worst, right? Not true. I don't know about You, but I am so very disobedient.

I hear the Lord speak to me, and yet I ignore it. Recently I had a conversation with someone, and they said to me, “I know the things I am supposed to be doing, but I can't ever seem to do them.” and I felt for them. My heart wanted to reach out to them and impart some wisdom. However, I had none because I am just as bad. I too suffer with ignoring what I know what God wants.

I have two stories where I exhibited disobedience. Once where I said something nasty to my sister over the phone and the Lord convicted me. I was to call her back and apologize. Do you think I did it? No! I paced around the house trying to ignore the conviction I felt until after about an hour when I folded and called her.

Another time I was led to confess a great sin I committed to someone. Did I do it? NO! Months went by, MONTHS. Before I approached this person and laid my heart before them. In the case of these two stories I was welcomed with open arms and love when I finally decided to obey. No one judged me or taunted me which is why I didn't want to do what I was told. I didn't want to face the consequences of my sins. One even said it was unnecessary to come to her, but she loved me anyway. I was miserable in between the time of feeling convicted and confessing. I wonder now as I write this if my suffering had been nonexistent had I just done what I was told WHEN I was told to.

Disobedience is one of my flaws. I want to do what I want. I want to be where I want to be. I most certainly don't want someone to tell me who/what/when/where I should be or not be doing. It is an insult to my senses!

Thinking on it I will say I envy my husband in this area sometimes. He was called to do something and in a matter of minutes he completed the task. I have asked him how he does it, and he just says because he does. He doesn't see a reason to fight it. Luke 11:28 reads “... Even more blessed are all who hear the word if God and put it into practice.” I teach my children that obedience means: To do what you are told. To do it with a smile, to do it quickly and to the best of your ability. I want them to do as I say and not as I do. I am disobedient towards my father. I want to blessed like this scripture says, don't You? I want to share wisdom with those who suffer this burden, but I am not sure I can, for I am a very disobedient child. How can I teach my children to be obedient when in secret I am not? In my readings on what it means to be disobedient two verses stood out to me. The first was 1 John 2:4 which states. “If someone says “I belong to God”, but doesn't obey God's commands, that person is a liar and is not living the truth.” Now I don't know about You, but I do not want to be considered a lair. In fact, I pride myself in being a very honest person. It surprises me on some level to read this but it does make sense. If we love someone we do what they want, no questions asked correct? A soldier who loves his general will lay down his life before asking why. The other was 1 Samuel 15:23 which reads “Rebellion is as bad as the sin of witchcraft, and stubbornness is as bad as worshiping idols.” WHAT?! I would have never associated those two things with witchcraft or idolatry. In fact this verse kind of scared me. I am quite rebellious and I can be very stubborn. It seems this box may have inadvertently opened another box!

To be stubborn and rebellious is to have a determination not to change one's attitude and showing a desire to resist authority. Which is the complete opposite of what we are called to be aren't we asked to live like Christ? To love how he loved? (1 John 2:5-6 those who obey God's word really do love. Those who say they live in God should live their lives as Christ did.) I have learned a lot while thinking on what it is to obey. It is intentional to live an obedient Christ like life. If I am to teach my children to obey I must be intentional with my life and live in the Word the way God tells me to. I will tell you what I tell my kids when I want them to obey. “I know right now it seems unfair and silly for me to ask You to do XYZ, but you must obey me and trust that I will not lead you into harm because I am wiser than you are and I know what is best.”

The funny thing is I should have been looking at this statement more for myself really all along. So let's change some words.

Father it is not important for me to ask why You ask me to do certain things. I need only remember that You, God of all creation, sees farther than I do and have a much greater understanding than I ever will. In order for me to grow I must obey you and trust that you will lead me along straight paths. (Proverbs 4:11)

PRAYER FOR OBEDIENCE