It was 4am when I woke up. I tried everything under the moon to fall back to sleep but nothing worked. Then the words hard heart popped into my head. Hmm. Okay brain and?
I gave up on sleep and turned on my phone and began to look up what it actually means to have a hard heart when I stumbled onto this little blog. Feel free to read the entire article it may open your eyes to a few things like it did mine. Below I will list some highlights I took away from Mr. Mike Query
5 Ways to Tell if You Have a Hard Heart (*and their solutions)
(*) added by me
1.) You don’t feel like talking to anyone
One surefire way to tell that your heart is hard is that you just can’t bring yourself to talk to anyone about anything of substance.
Solution: Vulnerability. Let people know what’s going on with you, no matter how uncomfortable it may feel.
2) Everyone’s advice seems bad to you.
Have you ever had multiple friends suggest to you the same thing throughout the course of a single day, and yet still find ways to convince yourself it’s a bad idea?
Solution: Humility. This scenario is an easy mistake to avoid if you can just swallow your pride for a bit. Try catching yourself the next time you tell three friends in a row that you’re doing just fine without their opinions, and decide to listen to what they have to say.
3) You’re unable to love anyone.
Where it seems like everyone you care about is worse off for knowing you…. This is what it’s like for someone whose heart has grown hard because of sin. Sin separates you from God and people, and renders you incapable of loving the people most important to you.
Solution: Honesty. 1 John 1:5-7 teaches us that when we walk in the light, we’ll have fellowship with one another. In other words, if you get all your stuff out in the open, it will endear people to you because you chose to become vulnerable.
4) You can’t get happy for anyone’s success except your own.
Bitter envy makes you hate people. Instead of celebrating differences and admiring people, you spend time actively hoping people fail.
Solution: Admiration. Check out Philippians 2 for some practicals from the Bible on how to care more about others’ success than your own. Psalm 73 is also a good example of a heart transforming from envious to grateful/content.
5) You don’t feel anything about the stuff you should.
This one is probably the scariest indicator of a hard heart. Typically, when we do things that violate our conscience, we feel a sense of shame or guilt, and that’s supposed to drive us back to God. However, when you lose sight of those warning indicators, that’s when you’re in trouble. You examine your life and see sin but feel nothing about it. Instead of alarm, fear or even anger, you feel nothing. Just apathy.
Solution: Love. Romans 12:21 says is best: “overcome evil with good.” By focusing on how to reconcile relationships and give your heart to people, you’ll reverse the course of your life and become someone who can feel again, and love the people closest to you in life. It’s a much better road, believe me.
I will not tell you which hard heart I discovered I had, but I will say it is possible to have more than one. In fact, I believe having one can actually lead to the development of the others. So after my 4 am study session I came away with insight into my hard heart and a determination to change it. My mantra from that moment on became
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
I said this every time I would feel myself roll my eyes or cringe at my children or husband. I chose love, every day all day. I wrote this on my hand and in my phone and slowly started to feel myself change. Hahaha. I guess I gave my self away in which heart problem I had.
Along with the above blog I found one more during my nighttime study session. The Andrew Wommack Ministries named off a few more symptoms of hard hearts that I found to be fascinating. Here are few highlights from the article.
Jesus gave us symptoms that are descriptive of a hard heart:(Mark 8:17-18) (1) unable to perceive, (2) unable to understand, (3) unable to see, (4) unable to hear, and (5) unable to remember. These are all speaking of inabilities in the spiritual realm.
A hard heart is characterized by an inability to perceive spiritually. And when spiritual things are perceived, a hard heart will keep a person from understanding the few things they can perceive. They might see what the Lord is trying to show them, but they can’t get a hold of it in a way that they can apply it to their life.
People often tell me that they just don’t have the ability to remember Scripture the way I do. They imply that I must have a photographic memory. But these same people can tell me who won the Super Bowl last year or last decade, the Major League batting averages of all the famous baseball players, or the names of all the actors in a movie. I’ve watched Super Bowl games, but I don’t remember the details. It’s not because my mind doesn’t work; it’s just a matter of the heart. I remember Scripture because that’s where my heart is. I don’t remember sports or entertainment trivia, because my heart isn’t into that. It’s all a matter of the heart.
Here are some of the major things I’ve learned that determine the sensitivity of your heart. First, whatever you consider, your heart becomes softened toward. Conversely, whatever you fail to consider, your heart becomes hardened to. That’s what Mark 6:52 reveals. Again, that verse says,
“For they considered not the miracle of the loaves: for their heart was hardened.”
When people are hardhearted toward God, it’s like they are spiritually blind and deaf—they just can’t see spiritual truth or hear the Lord speak to them. And they can’t remember. Not remembering is a major indication of the condition of their hearts.
It wasn’t sin that caused the disciples’ hearts to be hard—it was their focus on things other than the miracle Jesus had just performed.
If they had been thinking spiritually instead of naturally, they would have known that Jesus would take care of them. Instead of being surprised to see Jesus walking on the water, they would have expected it.
Learning I had a hard heart was the best thing that has happened to me. I believe God was trying to speak to me after I said an open-heart conversation with him. “Why don’t I find joy in anything anymore? Why don’t I love gardening anymore? When was the last time I smiled? Why does it feel strange when I do smile?” So he woke me up one night at 4 am to answer me. It was dark and quiet and there would be no distractions for me to manufacture excuses as to WHY I couldn't stop and learn.
When you read these you may feel tempted to see people you know: Your spouse, kids, and certain family members, or even friends. I ask that if you catch yourself saying,”Oh that's ___!”
Stop! Backup and really look at them for yourself. Do not try to label anyone or diagnose them. This is for you and only you. Please take the time to read each blog in depth really taking in the information.
This was the beginning of me and my boxes if I am to be honest. I truly asked
Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me and lead me in the way everlasting.(Psalm 139:23-24) Break me down father so that I become more vulnerable, honest, full of admiration, and more loving. That you give me a new heart and put a new spirit in me; remove from me my heart of stone and give me a heart of flesh. (Ezekiel 36:26) In Jesus name I pray AMEN
As my heart softened I began to enjoy the things I lost enjoyment for. My memory improved and I noticed how I started to take joy in all things. I became focused on my kids and my marriage. I dove into the word and started to go through all the boxes the Lord showed me with an open-heart and an open mind. Hungry to learn more about them and eager to empty them out. Andrew is right, now that my heart is right I am able to remember scripture! So the next time you wake up at 4 am unable to sleep take a moment think maybe God is trying to teach you something.
